A Letter from Racquel

This is a letter from Racquel, who undertook our residential addiction treatment program for her addiction to alcohol. She has kindly allowed us to share it.

To my dear (Hader) family, (staff and clients that I know),

I am typing this letter as, sadly, not many people can read my handwriting.

I first want to say an overwhelming thank you to the staff for your guidance, shared experiences and knowledge, as a group and individually. My time at Hader Clinic Queensland was well overdue, but I expect came just at the right time!

As you know through my sharing time and life story, my life was on a crash and burn spiral where I felt as if there would be no tomorrow – as I felt as though there was nothing in the future to look forward to.

This all started to change the day after I arrived at the rehab when I read the book “What is an addict?”.  I realised (stuff a duck),  I did have a problem!

Even on the day I arrived, I was still not convinced that my situation was critical, but I did know I had to do something soon, otherwise I would lose my daughter’s respect, my health, my sense of self-worth (which was dwindling fast) and would become so critical of my husband as he was always interstate with work.

I felt dislike creeping in, which was a horrid feeling.

Not only did being at Hader Clinic Queensland give me a sense of fellowship, but I felt as if I belonged and that I wasn’t alone. That may sound a bit sad to some, but it was where I was supposed to be, the only place I should have been at that time.

I learned things that I had unlearned. I gained a respect for those around me through their experiences, their suffering, their growth and recognition of their personal dilemma which in some cases almost came as a lightning bolt.

To this day I have not had a drink (495 days) and I have no inkling to do so. I have made contact with my fellowship and speak to their rep, but I have not visited. Step by step, I am very aware they are near, and he has reached out and made himself available when and if I need him.

When I got home, I was surprised at all the work my husband had done around the farm, things that had to be done but due to my health, got left.

He had also stopped drinking, lost eight kgs (he has lost a further four up to now), started to eat properly, is no longer pre-diabetic due to abstinence of alcohol, and his attitude has also changed for the better: much more considerate as he now knows that I had a problem.

There are many things I have put into practise that I planned to do when I got home and they were specifically for me, to get MY life back.

• I now have two cars in my name. I bought myself a car and we have bought a new ute for the farm and it is in my name.
• It has taken a while but I’m seeing more of my daughter and she has taken control of her illness.
• My physical fitness while at Hader Clinic Queensland improved immensely and I regained my confidence to go the extra mile to get fit. When I got back I was walking every day, until my last surgery, but I will soon be on track again.
• I now speak up if I’m not happy with a situation.
• I have steered away from friends who are negative or not just not good for me.
• I have put my name down for volunteer work at the age care facility my parents went to with the intention of helping the residents write their own life story, not only for them but for their family.
• The Covid-19 situation is lingering but because of where we live in Victoria, our restrictions are at level three and we have a lot more freedom which I guess helps a lot with any mental health issues.
• I have finally got around to updating my DVA and medical appointments, which were well overdue.
• And I have started reading again which has become one of my greatest joys.

So, this note is to say thank you with all my heart and I hope you all continue to do such amazing work for people like me.

THANK YOU!

With great respect,
Racquel