How rehab saved my son, and our family
My name is Gary and I am the parent of a drug and alcohol addict, Daniel. Daniel has recently completed rehab at the Hader Clinic Queensland.
Daniel also shared his addiction recovery story.
These days, Daniel is doing exceptionally well. The entire family is extremely pleased about his progress.
Moreover, we are entirely satisfied with the Hader Clinic Queensland’s addiction rehabilitation program and how it has nurtured and facilitated his effective recovery through an aggressive form of alcohol and drug addiction.
Prior to undertaking the rehabilitation program, our collective lives were in turmoil.
As with other members of our family, our love for Daniel was and is unconditional and we have a close connection of love with every member of our family. So when they go down, we follow.
We were totally unaware that Daniel had a problem with alcohol and drug addiction until approximately three years ago, when his behaviour rapidly deteriorated.
Daniel is what my family described as an alpha male. He was totally reliable, hard-working, and able to do anything, competent in music, sport and work.
Whatever, you gave him to complete you always had confidence he would complete it to your total satisfaction.
Because of his drug and alcohol addiction, Daniel became a man we could no longer recognise.
At that time, Daniel was working as the assistant manager of our heavy vehicle trucking company. We had commercial tenants who were renting offices, shed accommodation and yard areas, which were allocated for the storage of containers and customer product.
It first became apparent that something was going on when the property of one of our commercial tenants was taken and our CCTV footage recorded an image of what appeared to be Daniel.
As the managing director of our family business and the primary representative of our commercial property partnership, I had accusations levelled at me by tenants that I was encouraging criminals.
Because of my close bond with Daniel, this time became extremely difficult for me and as he went down, I followed.
In our subsequent discussions with Daniel, we discovered that Daniel had been using drugs since he was 17.
His life appeared to be normal, up until the last three years or so, when our collective lives spun out of our control.
We were at a loss to know what to do.
Fortunately, through an internet search for local drug and alcohol addiction services, I discovered the Hader Clinic Queensland.
I sent the web page link to Daniel through an email and asked if he would be prepared to go.
To my surprise and extreme delight, his response was “Yes, if you pay”.
This has been a Godsend.
This whole episode has renewed my faith in God, our Father, Jesus, his son and the Holy Spirit.
It has also reinforced Daniel’s faith and his gratitude for this exceptional opportunity to turn his life around so that our alpha son would be returned to us.
Daniel was admitted immediately into the Hader Clinic Queensland.
My greatest fear was that, had we not admitted him to the Hader Clinic Queensland, he would have died or be jailed for an extensive and unbearable length of time.
He was in a bad way.
The police were targeting him and making life very difficult for him. When he went anywhere, the police would follow.
His life and our lives were extremely difficult and we were all struggling to cope.
From the first day of his 90 day residential program, Daniel applied himself as the “real Daniel” would, in what he would describe as “120 percent”.
He has never faulted during the entire program from residential to transitional and hopefully into the outpatient status.
From the level of his enthusiasm in the take-up of this rehabilitation process, it is clear that Daniel knew he would be completely lost without this assistance.
This programme has been an eye opener for me.
During the process, I also learnt that I was a typical enabler of his addiction.
In trying to help him, I would provide funds for him to buy groceries and other similar items. In hindsight, he probably just turned around and spent it on drugs.
He was living in our house with a dealer he was associating with at the time. We were providing him with accommodation free of charge and we were giving money to him to purchase items.
It really came to a head one day as I was driving him back home and he started blaming me for everything and the position that he was in.
According to Dan, it was “all my fault” and “I had neglected him”.
In a way, he was correct.
At the start of his drug and alcohol addiction, we were focusing all of our attention on another serious family matter, which was not clearly understood by us and as such unresolved and without a clear way forward for resolution.
So yes, in a way, I neglected him.
However, Dan’s blaming me really brought the whole thing to a head. It was the turning point.
Whilst Dan was being treated at the Hader Clinic Queensland, I have been attending the monthly family evenings to get a better understanding of addiction.
During these sessions, I have received extensive and extremely helpful guidance on the dos and don’ts in relation to the support of a loved one in addiction.
Because of Daniel’s progression in this rehabilitation process, some of the information received during these sessions has not been utilised.
Daniel continues to be extremely self-motivated. His rapid progress can be attributed to his “120 percent” effort.
For Daniel, this means attending meetings religiously without fail, doing step work and working effectively and cooperatively with his sponsor.
Daniel is currently coaching his son’s soccer team and all of the children in the team love him.
As a child, Daniel was an excellent soccer player, as he was with any other sport that he played as a child. In Grade 7, in primary school, Daniel was awarded sportsman of the year and received a trophy from the local council representative. It is most pleasing to watch him passing on his sporting skills to the younger generation.
But more importantly, Daniel continues to rebuild the relationship with his son and his ex-wife, who has been very supporting and encouraging throughout the entire rehabilitation process.
Previously his wife and son had experienced a very tumultuous relationship because of this serious alcohol and drug addiction.
Throughout the programme, his ex-wife has been completely supporting his rehabilitation which in turn is helping their son.
I would highly recommend to other parents, who have a loved one suffering from addiction, to immediately cease “enabling” and immediately admit their loved into the Hader Clinic Queensland’s rehabilitation program.
Enabling really exacerbates the problems associated with alcohol and drug addiction.
Moreover, during the program, totally support your loved one and provide extensive encouragement and incentive for them to continuously progress through the recovery process so that they can return to a better life.
Daniel realised that he needed to take at least twelve months out of work to ensure that he kept his recovery front and centre.
He is currently progressing towards the completion of his last three months in the Hader Clinic Queensland’s transition programme.
Our relationship has always been close, but I believe that it is even better now.
In the first week of rehabilitation, Daniel wrote me a beautiful and sincere letter.
In this letter, he apologised for blaming me for everything.
He wrote some wonderful words indicating that, if it weren’t for his mother and I supporting him, he did not know where he would be today.
Those words written were extremely helpful in resolving and healing the unkind and unfair words previously spoken in our final conversation prior to rehabilitation.
Our relationship continues to grow through the rehabilitation process.
Today Daniel and I are doing extremely well.
I must reiterate how worthwhile and effective the Hader Clinic’s addiction treatment program is.
Yes, it seemed expensive at the start, but this programme has saved my son’s life and I don’t think you could actually put a value on that.
Thank you so much to the wonderful people of the Hader Clinic Queensland for your continued support and assistance. It has been invaluable.
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