Lawry’s Addiction Recovery
The Hader Clinic Queensland helped Lawry with his addiction to ice. He bravely shares his story below.
My name is Lawry and I first shared my story just over a year ago. I descended into a drug using hell, trying to cope with the trauma of witnessing a terrible accident.
I started rehab at the Hader Clinic Queensland on 20th May 2020, and completed the full 90 day program.
After I finished residential rehab, I found it confronting enough just to be going home. I was lucky to stay in a safe environment with my parents and had the Hader Aftercare App to support me as well.
Given my personal situation, I was most comfortable taking things slowly. I used the App for three months religiously, checking in every morning with Olivia. It was like being in rehab still, but in my home environment.
My parents have been my rock. I don’t know how I would have coped without them. They have been nothing but patient, encouraging and supportive of me. They understand that I’m still suffering from the aftermaths of the accident. I am still in therapy to help me deal with things.
A simple thing like a workplace health and safety video can give me bad flashbacks. However, I am slowly getting there.
My relationship with my ex-wife and kids has improved too. I have my children every second week. It’s been financially tough, but I really value the relationship I have with both my ex-wife and kids. The opportunity to co parent with my ex-wife has been a blessing.
It is wonderful to “feel present” around my kids. You can see they have benefitted greatly. I have four kids, 15, 10, 8 and 3. My fifteen year old daughter was aware of my addiction but since I sought treatment she has been on board. We talk about things and she keeps me honest.
I haven’t worked since my accident. I have still been suffering with a fair amount of anxiety and panic attacks. Luckily for me, my Dad also hasn’t worked and has been my greatest support at home.
It took a while to pluck up the courage to leave the house. Addiction had left me isolated and alone. I knew I had to reconnect with others, but it challenged me.
This is where doing some meetings, and reconnecting with my sponsor helped. I also still do the Hader Clinic Queensland in house transition meeting on a Wednesday night. Initially I didn’t follow through with my sponsor, but could see the benefits of meeting older, cleaner people who had more time under their belts being clean.
All the way along this journey, my parents have gently walked beside me in support.
Being of service and sharing my story has made me grateful for my recovery, even though at times the trajectory is slow. I do want to give people hope that recovery is possible.
Being at home, initially I was scared of “people”, “places” and “things”, however I slowly made progress by contacting old friends through the internet. It was nice that some of them wanted to find out about how to go to rehab. I told them that it was worth grasping onto with both hands.
Life, however, isn’t always rosy for me. I am grateful for the Hader Clinic Queensland as it has taught me how to manage high pressure situations.
For example, I had to travel to Brisbane for a medical assessment. The thought of travelling to that appointment and trying to escape the feeling of how awful I sometimes feel about the past was anxiety inducing. Had it not been for the support I have, I could have easily picked up as a means to cope.
However, I could see this coming – thanks to my rehab program I could pre-empt some of that anxiety. So, I reached out and asked for help. Dad came with me and while the experience took it out of me for a bit and I isolated a little, I connected immediately with my sponsor and saw my therapist.
That is what the journey of recovery has taught me – to learn to share my feelings, to ask for help and to be open with those who support me.
I am trying to give back as much as I can. I really connected with some of the DVA clients in rehab – especially on the level of suffering trauma. They understand how dark I got and it was relieving to connect with others who were going through and understood similar tragedies.
My recovery has had a ripple effect on my family. My parents are now at ease with me. They understand where I’m at and we have rebuilt trust.
I am forever grateful for the gift of recovery that The Hader Clinic Queensland has given me – and want to share that recovery is possible and it’s worth it. Thank you, HCQ.
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